


When Spock enters the bridge

by EmmrynEternal



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Extreme Crack, FYI, I should probably stop with the tags now..., No Warnings, Warning:, and mentions of that one incident with spock and his eyebrows in gear 7, but I dont wanna O-O, but I have to T.T, chekov is like the bridge rapper in this, have I mentioned crack yet?, massive amounts of twerking, so read at your own risk, unless extreme crack is a warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-17
Updated: 2015-08-17
Packaged: 2018-04-15 05:26:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4594551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmmrynEternal/pseuds/EmmrynEternal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just a short crackish story on what happens when Spock enters the bridge one day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When Spock enters the bridge

. The stars are shining, the intergalactic space fungi is growing, his captain and helmsman friend were twerking- wait, what?  
"Don't drop that dun dun dun. Don't drop that dun dun dun."  
Chekov's heavy Russian accent reached Spock's ears faster than Spaceball 1 during ludicrous speed. His pointed ears twitched with the urge to sway along, and sway they did. That is, until he became aware of their "boogying" and made a stop to it immediately.  
He was about to approach the scene when Scotty came bursting through the turbolift and into the bridge shouting, "The Hobgoblins are coming, the Hobgoblins are coming!" The Scottish man froze and locked eyes with said Hobgoblin and his brow-of-pointyness set to gear 1. Scotty then proceeded in running around the bridge shouting, "The Hobgoblin is here, the Hobgoblin is he-"  
Thud  
Aahh. The Scottish man in his natural habitat.  
Sprawled out on the floor.  
Like a starfish.  
With a hypo the size of Charlie Sheen's ego hanging out the side of his neck.  
Just looking at the poor man, anyone could see who the culprit was. Spock glanced up at Dr. McCoy and then back down at Scotty before once again trying to approach the scene.  
Spock had found out however, that McCoy was the presumed bouncer of the unofficial event when the doctor had blocked his path with a glare that had been known to kill.  
"No redshirts or green blooded Hobgoblins allowed."  
Spock had shifted his eyebrow-of-legend into gear 6 and thoroughly enjoyed watching McCoy stiffen in fear.  
"If redshirts are not allowed to this gathering, then please explain to me why Lieutenant Uhura is handling the bets."  
Both Spock's and McCoy's eyes shifted to the captain's chair where said Lieutenant was perched like she was born for it. She was also holding large stacks of money with various crew members surrounding her, all trying to place bets on either Kirk or Sulu to see who would win the twerk-off.  
"She's being useful." McCoy's tone of voice hinted at the hidden words, "and you're not, so get the hell out."  
Spock was about to shift his eyebrows to gear 7 but then thought better of it. There were stories about that specific gear all involving a Romulan, Kirk and his lollipop, Spock and his eyebrows, and a Tribble all being locked in the same room together. Instead, he shifted his legendary eyebrow to gear 8 and stepped over McCoy's body as it fell over from shock.  
The whole bridge grew silent as they watched Spock advancing towards them. All but Kirk and Sulu who were still twerking furiously and throwing insults at each other, trying to throw their opponent off their game.  
"Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory!"  
"Shut up! You'll never be the man your mother is!"  
"Oh yah! Well, your family tree is a cactus because everyone on it is a prick!"  
"Hey, you have something on your chin...third one down!"  
"I can eat a bowl of alphabet soup and crap out a better comeback than that!"  
"Oh really! Well, if we were married, I would poison your tea!"  
"If we were married, I'd drink it!"  
"Girls! You're both pretty! Now if you don't want to get raped by Spock's eyebrow, I suggest you put your asses away and get a move on!"  
With that, the now conscious Scotty caused a panic and sent everyone running out of the bridge faster than Kirk can shout "happy fuck-a-duck day" over the ships comm system.  
After a few minutes, all that was left on the bridge was Spock and a stray redshirt that had apparently snuck in.  
.  
.  
.  
Poor redshirt.


End file.
